What would I do without you?
No!
Something turned
him into a monster.
What are we dealing
with, do you know?
Croatoan.
It's a virus. Of,
plague and pestilence.
Who knows how far
this thing can spread?
It's Crowley, right?
Why exactly would
you want the devil dead?
Survival.
If Lucifer manages to
exterminate human kind...
we're next.
The cage you
sprung Lucifer from...
you can shove his ass back in.
The key to the cage... four rings...
from the Horsemen.
Well, we got War's.
We nicked Famine's.
That's two rings down.
Collect all four.
All we need is,
Pestilence and Death.
Oh, is that all?
Doctor
Doctor
It's a load of crap...
pure profit-driven crap.
Well, swine flu...
it's an epidemic.
Yeah, well, if Niveus was really
worried about the epidemic,
they'd be giving the vaccine
out for free.
This supposed new formula...
Well, they say
it's faster-acting.
Well maybe it is,
but human trials this week?
Yeah, it does seem
a little rushed.
A little rushed?
Have you even seen
the new vaccine?
- No.
- Yeah, neither have I.
I have.
Who the hell are you?
I'm running the experiment.
Ohh!
What the hell?!
Relax... you're part of it, too.
Aah! Aah! Get off of me!
God, no! Get off!
Aah!
Well, looks like it works.
Season 5 Episode 20
"The Devil You Know"
Paging Dr. Stateman.
Dr. Stateman, please.
Hey, check it out...
I look like the king of pop.
Too soon..?
Too soon.
Don't get me wrong...
I'm glad the CDC is here,
but what we really need is vaccine.
- Yeah, you got that right.
- Well, tell me...
have you noticed anything
unusual about the strain...
any signs of behavioral change?
- Like aggression, maybe?
- Excuse me?
Have the flu victims
shown any signs of, uh,
homicidal tendencies?
Um...
Symptomatically speaking,
we're looking at
a relatively mild case
of swine flu here.
Probably add up to
a miserable week off of work,
and that's about it.
So nothing unusual.
Hmm.
Day and a half ago,
we didn't have a single case.
Now we're looking
at over 70.
The infectious equivalent
of a briefcase bomb.
So, yeah, I might call that
a little unusual.
Day and a half?
That's the same time
those statues started crying.
Yep.
I'm sorry, what was that?
What was what?
Did you just say a bunch
of statues started crying?
What? why, no.
No. W-who would...
Who would say that, huh?
Crazy people.
Exactly.
Yeah, which we are not.
No.
Just... get us some vaccine.
Whew.
Let me guess... another
steamin'-hot pile of swine flu.
Yep.
Doesn't make any sense, Bobby.
Pestilence touched down here.
I'm sure of it.
But why is he dealing them
soft serve like swine flu
when he's got the
croatoan virus up his sleeve?
I-I-I don't get it.
Doesn't matter what the sick
son of a bitch is doing.
What matters is, this is
the fourth town he's hit
that we know of...
and we're still eating his dust.
Did you get anything?
We got even a snowball
at probable next target?
Uh, no pattern we can see.
Okay.
Hold on.
Well, far as I can tell,
he's still heading east,
so... head east, I guess.
- East?
- East?
Bobby, we're in West Nevada...
east is practically all there is.
Yeah, well, you better get to drivin'.
Say...
I've got an idea.
Did you get him?
He's gone.
Fancy a fag and a chat?
You're upset.
We should discuss it.
Not here, but...
You want to talk?
After what you did to us?
After what I...
what I did to you?!
I gave you the colt!
Yeah, and you knew it wouldn't
work against the devil!
- I never!
- You set us up.
We lost people
on that suicide run...
good people!
Who you take on the ride
is your own business!
Look, everything
is still the same.
W-we're all still in this together.
Sure we are.
Call your dog off, please.
Give me one good reason.
I can give you Pestilence.
What do you know
about Pestilence?
I know how to get him.
That's got your interest, doesn't it?
- Are you actually listening to this?
- Sam...
- Are you friggin' nuts?!
- Shut up for a second, Sam!
Shut up, the both of you!
Look... I swear...
I thought the colt would work.
It's an honest mistake.
It's all part
of the learning process.
But nothing's changed.
I still want the devil dead.
Well... one thing's changed.
Now the devil knows
that I want him dead.
Which, by the way,
makes me the most buggered son
in all of creation.
Holy crap... we don't care.
They burnt down my house!
They ate my tailor!
Two months under a rock,
like a bloody salamander!
Every demon on hell and earth's
got his eyes out for me!
And yet... here I am...
last place I should be...
in the road, talking
to Sam and Dean Winchester,
under a friggin' spotlight!
So come with me.
Please.
Do you want the
Horsemen rings or not?
Yes, I know all about that.
Shall we?
Here we are...
my life on the lam.
How the mighty have fallen.
Single-pane glass,
used contraception
in the fireplace.
The water damage alone...
My heart's bleeding for you.
Now, how do you know
about the rings?
Well, now...
I've been keeping
a close eye on you lot.
We got hex bags.
We're hidden from demons.
All but one.
That night you
broke into my house...
our first date,
my valet hid a tracking
device in your car...
a magical coin
that easily trumps
your little bags o' bones.
It allows me
to hear things, too...
And, my, the things I've heard.
So you want to cram the devil
back in the box?
Cunning scheme.
I want in.
You said you could
get us Pestilence.
Well, now...
I don't know
where Pestilence is...
per se...
But I do know
the demon who does.
He's what you might call
the Horsemen's stable boy.
He handles their itineraries,
their personal needs.
He's who you want... believe me.
He'll tell us
where sneezy's at.
Well, how do we
get him to spill?
Rip out his toe-nails?
No.
Nuts at his pay grade
don't crack.
We bring him here,
then I sell him.
Sell him?
Please... I've sold sin
to saints for centuries.
Think I can't close
one little demon?
All right, so where's
this demon of yours?
I don't want to hear "weeks."
I want to hear, "days."
But the lab isn't even
finished testing yet.
You let me
worry about the lab.
But, sir, you're asking
for distribution
on an unprecedented scale.
Well, we have an
unprecedented outbreak.
The nation... is
terrified of swine flu.
They want our vaccine.
They need our vaccine.
It's called "demand," people.
Now, supply!
We're doing our best.
Oh, you're doing your best?
You're doing your best?
Well, then do the best
of somebody better!
You wanted to see me?
Mitchell, yes.
Come on in.
Look, Mr. Brady,
I know how important this is,
and I-I'm sorry if I sounded...
No apologies.
Mitch, I need people like you.
Really?
Really.
In fact, there is a position
in communications
that I think you
would be perfect for.
Sounds great.
Is great.
So what do you say?
You ready to enter
the cut-throat world
of upper management?
Awesome.
Awesome.
Ooh. Watch the shoes, please.
Get the rest later.
Thanks.
Dis manibus
praeest praesens...
...Obtine mihi dominum
Pestilentiarum omnium.
Sir, great news.
The vaccine trials...
the results have been...
...really quite grotesque.
I think you'll be pleased.
How soon?
Distribution on this scale...
I mean, we do need some humans.
We can't possess them all...
and don't even get me started
on the teamsters. I...
I know.
I'm doing my best.
Yes, sir.
The best of someone
better. I will, of course.
Why are we even
listening to him, Dean?
This is totally insane.
I don't disagree.
One big happy family
are we, then? Fantastic.
You ready to go?
Yes. Yes. I am.
Sam, keep the home fires burning.
What are you talking about?
Sam's not coming.
And why the hell not?
Because I don't like you...
I don't trust you...
and oh, yes...
you keep trying to kill me.
There's no damn way.
This isn't gonna happen!
I'm not asking you, am I?
'cause you're not invited.
I'm asking you.
What's it gonna be?
Gentlemen...
enjoy your last few sunsets.
Wait.
I'll go.
What can I say?
I believe the guy.
And then Dean just walks...
right out the door
with Crowley.
Well, look, Sam,
I got no love for demons...
and, yeah,
this whole thing is crazy,
but... I don't know.
After a year
of chasing up zilch...
maybe it's time
to go crazy.
Yeah, maybe.
Hey, Bobby?
Yeah?
Uh...
remember that time
you were possessed?
Yeah. Rings a bell.
When Meg told you
to kill Dean, you didn't.
You took your body back.
Just long enough
to shank myself, yeah.
Well, how'd you do it?
I mean, how'd you
take back the wheel?
Why are you asking, Sam?
Say we can open the cage.
Great. But then what?
W-we just lead the
devil to the edge
and get him to jump in?
You got me.
What if you guys
lead the devil to the edge
and I jump in?
Sam.
It'd be just like
when you turned the knife
around on yourself.
One action... just one leap.
- Are you idjits trying to kill me?!
- Bobby...
We just got done talking
your brother off the ledge,
and now you're lining
up to say "yes"?
It's not like that.
I'm not gonna do it.
Not unless we all agree.
But I think we got to
look at our options.
This isn't an option, Sam.
Why not?
You can't do it.
What I did
was a million-to-one.
And that was some piss-ant demon
I was brain-wrestling.
You're talking about
taking back control
from Satan himself.
Yeah. Yeah, I am.
Kid...
it's called "possession"
for a reason.
You, of all people,
ought to know.
I'm strong enough.
You ain't.
He's gonna find every
chink in your armor, Sam,
and use it against you.
Your fear, your grief, your anger.
And let's face it...
you're not exactly
Mr. Anger management.
How are you
gonna control the devil
when you can't control yourself?
Demons?
Nah. Human shields.
The demons are up top...
12th floor.
All right, then.
We'll have to find a way in
through the back.
You Winchesters make
everything so complicated.
Ah, crap.
Oh, crap.
Crap! Crap!
Door's open!
What?
You killed them?
We're on a tight schedule.
Come on.
Now you're squeamish?
Please.
Go get 'em, tiger.
You're not coming?
Oh, no. It's not safe up there.
There's demons.
Yeah, I get that.
Look, just do what I told you,
a-and try to be convincing.
It'll work like a charm.
Trust me.
Dean Winchester.
What, no appointment?
Kind of an 11th-hour thing,
you know?
Well, then,
you're just on time.
Have a seat.
How's your brother?
Well, down to business then.
What can I do for you?
Actually, it's about
what I can do for you.
Really?
Me and Sam dropped
two of your jockeys.
I think you know that.
Yes.
I got the memo.
Well, we kept their, uh,
secret power rings.
Mm.
Which is why I'm here.
I heard some folks saying
that you wanted them back
And you were willing to pay.
Hmm.
Where are they?
Not here.
But you want them,
you'll come with me...
nice and civil...
we'll get out of
your little bat-cave here,
and we'll discuss
a transaction.
Who says I want them?
What?
Who... says...
I want them?
You know...
folks.
See...
...War and Famine,
even if I could cram the rings
back on their bony fingers,
I doubt it would do much good.
They're withered husks right now...
fetal position on the floor...
all thanks to you.
So I don't want the rings.
What I want is retribution.
And I'm gonna rip it
right out of your ass!
This...
is so good.
Therapeutic, for sure.
You know, Dean,
I really owe you one, buddy.
'Cause I feel...
so...
much...
better!
Dean!
Dean, now where are
you going? Come on,
we're just getting started!
Good meeting, Dean.
You know, I'm excited.
Evening, uncle.
What the hell was that?
That was perfect.
Perfect?
He didn't want the rings.
He wanted me.
Imagine the surprise
on your face.
What?
Your ignorance
and misinformation...
I mean, it's completely authentic.
You can't fake that.
What?
I-it went like clockwork.
Not for me,
you son of a bitch!
That's what you get...
working with a demon.
Hey, hot stuff,
watch the upholstery!
Up yours, mate.
This bit of carving
will tie our friend here down.
No zapping off,
no smoking out...
locked in the meat suit.
An important piece
of our bargaining strategy.
Now, up here,
we don't want I-50.
Take 93 north.
What are you talking about?
Look, we can't take this guy
back to your brother.
Why the hell not?
Crowley!
They got history, all right?
You want to go anywhere,
you start talking.
What history?
Where's Dean?
Now...
for the record,
I'm against this.
Negotiating a high-level defection...
it's very delicate business.
What are you talking about?
I begged Dean not to come back.
We should be miles away...
from you.
He replied with
a colorful rejoinder
about my "corn chute."
So, go ahead.
Go... ruin our last best hope.
It's only the end of the world.
Sam.
What's going on, Dean?
I need you to
stay on mission, okay?
Focused.
I don't understand.
What's all this about?
I'm doing this
'cause I trust you.
Trust me to what?
Sam?
Sam, is that you?
Brady?
Brady hasn't been,
Brady in years.
Not since, oh...
middle of our sophomore year?
- What?
- That's right.
You had a devil on your
shoulder even back then.
All right, now,
let it all sink in.
You son of a bitch.
You son of a bitch!
You introduced me to Jess!
Ding, ding!
I think he's got it!
- Damn it, Sam!
- I'm gonna kill you!
Hey, that's enough!
- Get out of my way!
- No.
Get out of my way, Dean.
There is only one way to win,
and it ain't by killing
that thing in there.
Well...
sounds like you got
him nice and fluffed.
Thanks so much.
Listen to me.
We need Pestilence
to get at the devil,
and we need, Brady
to get to Pestilence.
Why, because Crowley said so?
Because we trust him now?
Like I trusted Ruby?
Or like I trusted Brady
back at school?
Look... do the math yourself.
If Lucifer wins...
he'll turn this place
into his kingdom.
When the morning-star cleans house,
we all get the mop.
He created us...
why would he destroy us?
That makes no sense.
Look at who...
at what he is.
Then take a look
at what we are.
Maybe you should be
a little less worried
about our necks
and be a little more worried
about yours.
Has crossed my mind.
That's not really the point.
Actually, Crowley...
that is the point.
No one will know
greater torment than you.
Lucifer is never
gonna let you die.
As for me, I know the score.
I'm dead, whether
I tell you anything or not.
So I think I'll die
on the winning side, thanks.
Good talk.
Cheers.
Well, how'd it go?
He buy your girl scout cookies?
Not yet.
Where's your moose?
He's cooling off.
All right, then.
Get bent.
You going somewhere?
Well, he won't budge.
So now I go stick my neck out.
What are you gonna do?
Exactly the kind
of desperate swash-buckle
I've been trying to avoid.
Now I go kick open
a hive of demons.
This whole bloody
ring business better work.
Sam!
Come on, Sam. Come on!
Hey!
Open the door!
Open the door!
Well, here we go.
We doing last words or no?
Sophomore year, huh?
Brady, here,
he was a good kid...
straight arrow.
I mean, your
best friend, really.
Perfect point of access.
Thanks-giving.
Yes, sir.
Remember when I came back
from break all messed up...
dropped out of pre-med,
the drugs, the bitches?
That was the new Brady.
That was me.
Remember how much
time you spent
trying to get me
back on the right track?
You really were a good friend.
But ol' yellow eyes didn't send
me back to be your friend.
No, we could tell
we were starting to lose you.
You were becoming
a mild-mannered,
worthless sack of piss.
Now, come on.
We couldn't have that.
You were our favorite.
So I hooked you up
with a pure, sweet,
innocent piece of tail.
And then I toasted her
on the ceiling.
That's right... Azazel might
have put the hit out on Jessica...
but, man, I got to have
all the fun!
You know, she thought
we were friends, too.
Let me right in.
She was baking cookies.
She was so surprised...
so hurt when I started in on her.
Come on!
Do it if it'll
make you feel better!
Do it, Sammy! Do it!
Come on!
Come on.
Ohh.
Come on.
Hey, hey, hey!
All right! Wait!
I'm gonna open it.
- What happened?
- Nothing.
- My ass.
- Dean, I'm fine.
Yeah, and what about Brady?
Like you said...
we need him.
God... the day I've had.
Good news.
You're going to live forever.
What did you do?
Went over to a demons' nest...
had a little massacre.
Must be losing my touch, though...
let one of the little toads live.
Oops.
Also might have given said toad
the impression
that you left your
post last night
because you and I are...
wait for it...
lovers in league against Satan.
Hello, darling.
So, now death is off the table.
Now you get to be on the boss's
eternal-torment list
with little old me.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
No.
Something else
we have in common...
apart from our torrid
passion, of course...
craven self-preservation.
So, now, why don't you tell me
where Pestilence is at?
Oh, God, Crowley.
Was that a hell-hound?
I'd say yeah.
Why was that a hell-hound?
What's that?
Remember I was telling you about
my crafty little tracking device?
Yeah.
Demons planted one on me.
You're saying a hell-hound
followed you here?
Well, technically,
he followed this.
Get me out of here.
I'll tell you anything you want.
- Shut up.
- Okay, well, then we should go.
Sorry, boys. No one knows more
about the hounds than I.
You're long past
the point of "go."
- Damn it.
- I told you!
Oh, well, good for you.
Luckily, we have salt
in the kitchen.
I'll watch Brady.
Watch me?
Get me the hell out of here!
Sammy!
Salt?
Damn it,
get me out of here!
- Shut up!
- Shut up!
Great. Just great.
Hey!
You're back?
I'm invested...
currently.
Stay!
You can control them?
Not that one.
I brought my own.
Mine's bigger.
Sic him, boy!
Go, go, go, go!
Go, go.
I'll wager you a $1,000, my pup wins.
Yeah. I'm sure
Pestilence will be there.
Thanks.
What do you think?
It's good.
You got no reason
to lie, have you?
Like I said before,
you're in my boat now.
You've screwed me... for eternity.
Nah.
Won't last that long.
Trust me.
Where are you going?
I'm going
to do you a favor.
I expect we'll be in touch.
What is this?
All those angels,
all those demons,
all those
sons of bitches...
they just don't get it,
do they, Sammy?
No. They don't, Dean.
You see, Brady...
we're the ones
you should be afraid of.
I bet this is a real moment
for you, big boy.
Gonna make you feel all better?
It's a start.
Gonna make up for all the times
that we yanked your chain...
Yellow eyes, Ruby, me?
But it wasn't all our fault,
was it? No, no, no, no.
You're the one
who trusted us.
You're the one
who let us into your life.
Let us whisper in your ear
over and over and over again.
Ever wonder why that is, Sammy?
Ever wonder why we were
so in your blind spot?
Maybe it's because we got
the same stuff in our veins
And, deep down,
you know you're just like us.
Aaah!
Maybe you hate us so much,
because you hate what you see
every time you
look in the mirror.
You ever think of that?!
Maybe the only difference
between you and a demon...
is your hell is right here.
Interesting theory.
Yeah, I followed up.
Nasty omens,
but none of it's death
with a capital "D."
Well, just give me a ring
if it turns into anything.
And, Rufus...
you watch your ass out there.
Chin up.
Cavalry's arrived.
Charming.
That won't work on me.
Name's Crowley.
Maybe you've...
You're Crowley?
In the flesh...
of a moderately successful
literary Agent out of New York.
Aah!
I see you have heard of me.
I liked this suit.
What are you doing here?
Looking out for Crowley.
Meaning...?
The boys are on
to ring number 3,
but we still need number 4.
I'm here to help.
You know where death is?
No.
Haven't the foggiest.
Well, then get the hell
off my property
before I blast you
so full of rock salt...
you crap margaritas.
That's a mite unfriendly,
seeing as I could be
getting you death's location
in about the time
it'd take you to reload.
You're just gonna
chat some demons up
and hope they
don't recognize you?
God, no.
That could get me killed.
But there is
this little spell that I know.
That so?
Results are 100% guaranteed.
Okay. Then why are you
snake-oiling me?
Well, it's a little bit...
embarrassing.
There's this... technicality.
Uh-huh.
I need a little something
to get the magic going.
And what's that?
You make a wish.
I can give you
anything you want, mate...
up to and including
death's coordinates.
All I need is...
My soul.
I've done more with less.
Let's just say when they're
getting their grammys,
They shouldn't all be
thanking God.
It's worth it, Bobby.
Think.
Okay.
Here's my counter.
Ow!
Bloody hell!
Feisty.
Get out.
I'll give it right back.
You think I'm a natural-born idjit?
Quite the contrary.
Look, you're right
to be suspicious.
But I'm your ally.
Enemy of my enemy and all that.
I need the devil
back in his stock.
In fact, my delicate ass
depends on it.
I promise you... temporary loan.
I'll give it... right... back.
